“Don’t get your hopes up!” Were you warned of this as a child? What does this say? It says that life is bound to disappoint you. It says, don’t aim high because you’re not likely to get what you want. It says that we can’t expect good things to happen to us.

As our thinking creates our reality, this kind of thinking dooms us to a mundane existence. It’s time to change our stories. Why not focus the immense power of our hearts and minds on bringing to fruition the very best life has to offer? Allow yourself to hope and believe in all possibilities.

“Hope is the companion of power, and the mother of success; for who so hopes has within him the gift of miracles.”

(Samuel Smiles)

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.”

(Barbara Kingsolver)

“The distance doesn’t matter; only the first step is difficult.”

(Mme. du Deffand)

Life continually presents us with opportunities for achieving what we desire.  “Only the first step is difficult.”  Each time we sense the possibility of a new direction in our lives, we are being given a chance to grow.

Sometimes the first step is a big one; sometimes we start to take it almost without noticing:  a dream, a book, a conversation.  Sometimes growth may come from not taking what looks like an opportunity.  Whatever choice we make we can be challenged to grow.

“The distance doesn’t matter.”  Our road has many branching paths.  What we work and pray for is the ability to see those paths clearly, and the strength to take a difficult first step.

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.”

(Soren Kierkegaard)

Reminding ourselves often of our spiritual natures truly changes the quality of our lives. It helps us relax, slow down, lighten up, and generally find more space and joy in life.

When we get down on ourselves or life, we can pull back and ask, “How might my soul regard this situation? What am I being invited to experience?”

This shift in perspective helps us let go of the resistance that always comes with negativity. As energy once again begins to flow, our outlook brightens.

“Spirituality is the sacred center out of which all life comes, including Mondays and Tuesdays and rainy Saturday afternoons in all their mundane and glorious detail. … The spiritual journey is the soul’s life commingling with ordinary life.”

(Christina Baldwin)

I’ve yet to meet an absolute perfectionist whose life was filled with inner peace.  The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other.  Whenever we are attached to having something a certain way, better than it already is, we are, almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle.  Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we are focused on what’s wrong with something and our need to fix it.  When we are zeroed in on what’s wrong, it implies that we are dissatisfied, discontent.

Whether it’s related to ourselves… a disorganized closet, a scratch on the car, an imperfect accomplishment, a few pounds we would like to lose… or someone else’s “imperfections”… the way someone looks, behaves, or lives their life… the very act of focusing on imperfection pulls us away from our goal of being kind and gentle.  This strategy has nothing to do with ceasing to do your very best but with being overly attached and focused on what’s wrong with life.  It’s about realizing that while there’s always a better way to do something, this doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.

The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit of insisting that things should be other than they are.  Gently remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now.  In the absence of your judgment, everything would be fine.  As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you’ll begin to discover the perfection in life itself.

(Richard Carlson, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”)

“To get to forgiveness, we first have to work through the painful experiences that require it.”

(Christiane Northrup)

To forgive, we do not have to say that whatever happened was okay. In fact, before we can forgive, we need to allow ourselves to really feel the pain of the experience. If we don’t fully acknowledge our hurts, we will continue to carry them subconsciously and they will drain our energy.

To forgive, we need to decide that we won’t allow the memories of the event to poison us any longer. We’re ready to heal this wound from the past and open to a fresh new beginning.

The blessing is that when we’re really ready to experience our pain and we open to it, it usually fades away. By honoring our pain, we release it.

“We must let ourselves feel all the painful destruction we want to forgive rather than swallow it in denial. If we do not face it, we cannot choose to forgive it.”

(Kenneth McNoll)

“No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true.”

(Nathaniel Hawthorne)

“You cannot fake a relationship and feel right with yourself or anyone else. Changing yourself to fit what you think other people want doesn’t work. Pretending to be someone other than yourself only broadens the distance between the person you are and the one with whom you’re trying to establish closeness.”

(Mary Manin Morrissey)

“Just as surely as distress must follow self-deceit, healing must follow self-honesty.”

(Vernon Howard)

“Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.”

(Janis Joplin)

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

“Forgiveness will never fail to free you.”

(Jerrold Mundis)

How do we forgive when we’re angry and hurt?

As a first step, we can be willing to truly feel our anger and hurt. Honouring our feelings by being fully present with them helps to release the feelings themselves.

And it helps to remember that people only hurt others when they themselves are in pain. When we can recognize the other person’s suffering, our heart can open in compassion. We can also remember that at some time or another, we too have hurt someone through our own unskilful action.

Only love can heal the rifts caused by a hurtful deed. Forgiveness holds immense power because it mends separation. It moves us towards the unity and love that lie at the core of our being. It is a fundamental part of the healing process.

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”

(Paul Boese)

“The voice of our original self is often muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled, by the voices of other people’s expectations.”

(Julie Cameron)

Many of us unconsciously believe that we’re unworthy or defective. We adopted this belief very early in our lives when the people we looked up to disapproved of our demands, wishes and behaviors. We concluded that we had to learn to be good.

Unfortunately, ‘being good’ usually meant giving up our own differences or uniqueness. We learned that we might get the love we wanted if we acted and felt like others wanted us to.

If we seek true joy and connection with life, we now need to remove these artificial masks and express our deep authentic nature.

“For all those years you’ve protected the seed. It’s time to become the beautiful flower.”

(Stephen C. Paul)

“Souls don’t have races or sexes or religions. They are beyond artificial divisions.”

(Brian Weiss)

Intolerance of differences always exists in people who don’t know who they are, people who don’t have a strong sense of their own authentic self, the soul within.

Intolerance is rooted in fear.

The basis for having a strong sense of self-esteem is to replace our unconscious idea of basic unworthiness with a conscious knowing of our fundamental inherent goodness. As Matthew Fox argues in Original Blessing, the notion of ‘original sin’ must be replaced with the truth of ‘original blessing.’

Being in touch with our essential goodness, we can see the essential goodness in others as well.

“Beliefs separate. Loving thoughts unite.”

(Paul Ferrini)

“Why not concentrate on the now instead of hoping for better times in the future? Why not understand the now instead of forgetting it and hoping for the future? Isn’t the future just another trap?”

(Anthony de Mello)

Soul exists only in this moment. Every moment, no matter what the conditions, offers opportunities to touch and experience life in a new way. Our egos, with their fears and desires, easily get trapped in the past and the future, but the power to change exists only in this moment.

We don’t need to know more or have more before we can live more deeply. We simply need to pay attention to what’s happening now. To open without judgment to the worlds around and within us.

“Nothing is worth more than this day. You cannot relive yesterday. Tomorrow is still beyond your reach.”

(Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)